Bang, Bang. Now You’re Dead. (Chapter 1)

I started this story a few nights ago; I’m not yet sure if it’s going to be just a short story (with a few more installments after this) or if it’ll grow into something more.  As it currently stands, the story keeps twisting and turning in my mind – I think it’s going to end up being really interesting and unexpected, but we’ll see.

Anyways, here is the first chapter of Bang, Bang. Now You’re Dead.  Hope you enjoy =)

xoxo YoshiAnn

P.S.  Photo courtesy of Cinema is Dope. It’s an old Dorothy Lamour movie poster; she’s one of my favorite old Hollywood stars =)

 

Bang, Bang. Now, You’re Dead.

 

Chapter 1

 

It may have taken Marian a while to figure everything out, to plot her revenge and watch it unfold with cold, unblinking eyes and the slightest play of a smile around her lips, but every second of the wait had proved worthwhile.  Sitting back in the creaking wooden chair, she tried to feign the shock and horror that sprung up so naturally on her classmates’ faces; the entire room watched silent and in awe as the officers dragged Jamie through the doors saying things like charges and murder. As the last vestige of Jamie’s tear-stricken face disappeared behind the closing metal door, Marian let out a breath she had been holding for the better part of two years.  She cast her eyes to the linoleum floor and began counting the checkered tiles beneath her dirty boots: seventeen blue, sixteen and a half white. Half because one tile had chipped away and now only the grey mortar that formerly anchored it was visible.  All around her Marian heard the whispers begin:

 

Jamie? A murderer?

 

I saw him with her that night, but he told the police he’d never been there.

 

I can’t believe this!

 

Do you really think he did it?

 

I heard his dad hits him and his mom, you think he just snapped?

 

Ohmigod, this is crazy!

 

The words floated all around her, but Marian kept her eyes on the floor, determined not to become engaged.  Silence had kept her safe these past few years and silence would keep her safe now.

 

“Class.  Class!” Mrs. Tutweiler yelled from the front of the room, the pitch of her voice combined with the nervous tapping of her feet betrayed her own confusion, “I know that this…well, this is a shock, but the only thing we can do now is get back to work.”

 

 

 

When the bell rang twenty minutes later, it was like the halls had caught on fire – news of Jamie’s arrest reached every ear, every phone, every person in that building within minutes.  The pastel walls buzzed with a million takes on the same story:

 

Yeah, I heard he killed her.  Strangled her, the cops said.

 

Someone told me she was raped too.

 

I don’t think he did it.  It’s Jamie, c’mon.

 

That perverted son of a bitch, I heard it was some kind of devil ritual gone wrong.

 

I can’t believe it, he seemed so nice.

 

Marian made her way through the crowded hallways, past the gaggle of cheerleaders, past the teachers conversing in hushed tones and finally out the door.  She kept her head down the entire time; if she’d learned anything in the past two years it was that anonymity brought about a kind of freedom you could never have in the “it crowd.”

 

Slowly, she made her way across the school yard and got into her car. Before she could close the driver’s side door, Ryan was there, crouched down and in her face.

 

“What did you do, Marian?” he asked, obsidian eyes closely scrutinizing her features.

 

She blinked rapidly, ran a dainty pink tongue across drying lips.

 

“Nothing,” Marian bat her lashes at Mitchelin High’s star quarterback, and feigned innocence as best she could.

 

She thought she saw a small smile dance around his full bottom lip.  She knew that he knew she was lying; they’d known each other for too long and too well for her to fool him.

 

“Marian,” he whispered, dragging out her name with his lilting Southern drawl. “I can’t protect you forever.  If anyone finds out –“

 

“They won’t!” she practically shouted at him, “He deserved it, you know he did.”

 

And then, much softer, “He’s a monster.”

 

In the distance, someone shouted Ryan’s name.  He turned his head slightly, gave a quick nod and swung his dark eyes back to her brown ones. For just a minute, he stared at her – took in her mocha-dipped skin, curly black hair and big doe eyes.  He sighed, eased himself out of his crouch and gently closed her car door.

 

She took off instantly. Ryan watched her drive away before pivoting on his right foot and heading towards the group of football players gathered on the other side of the parking lot.


Way Back When…

For the past couple of years, I’ve been collecting a lot of my old family photos and preserving them (by scanning and digitally organizing).  My plan is to eventually:

1. have a digital copy of all our old photos

2. make some giant, fun family albums – that are properly organized by occasion etc – with the actual prints.

My mom recently found three small albums that had pictures from the late 80’s and early 90’s.  There were photos of me just a few months old, some of me at 3 years old and others when I turned 6 =)

Check them out, they’re adorable!

I mean, look at that face you guys – I was made for the camera (lol).

Check out my style; I bet you like how the shoes, socks and shirt match (lol).

I was a total little fashionista, in my tights, with my little bag =)

This is my Mom back then; I think she kinda looks like a model and I’m kinda jealous of how skinny she was/is (lol).

xoxo YoshiAnn

P.S.  Can y’all believe my crazy hair in the feature pic?  Loves it! 

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One of my favorite sketches…

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xoxo YoshiAnn

Who Do You Trust?

So this story took me out of my comfort zone a bit; it kind of went down a path that had aspects of science fiction or, at least, a futuristic-y feel to it.  That’s not usually what I write about, but I still found that there was something about this piece that I really enjoyed.

The idea of the beat was really something I’d wanted to play with for a while – the presence of this sound/beat that only he could hear, something beckoning him, something leading him “home.” So anyways, here is the story.  Hope you guys like it!

xoxo YoshiAnn 

P.S. Feature Image courtesy of Avid.

Who Do You Trust?

He staggered backwards, and tried desperately to inhale. He failed. He felt the ground beneath him fall away and the whole world crumpled into a deep spiraling darkness.

Hours later Josh woke up, bloodied, battered and with no memory of anything other than pain.  He stared down at his torn and ragged Converses, at untied neon laces spattered with his own blood, and couldn’t force his mind to comprehend what it meant.

Where was he? Who was he?

Thoughts raced through his mind and he stumbled haphazardly towards nothing in particular. The night rolled on before him pitch black, one flickering lamp post off in the distance illuminating an area that may have well been as expansive as the night sky. He walked for miles, or so it seemed. After a time, he began to hear noise.  A soft steady thump, at first, but the harder he listened, the more insistent the sound became – he could almost feel the beat, steady and sure like a heart.  It was calling to him, beckoning him to some unknown place, some refuge from…this.

He dragged himself forward, around the corner, down an alleyway, always following the beat. In his desperation, the beat promised salvation. Like light in the darkness, like a siren of the sea, it called to him and he was powerless to resist its charms.  Finally, exhausted and struggling to draw oxygen into his lungs, Josh found the source of his obsession, the source of the beat.  It was coming from behind a heavy metal door, rusted and seemingly melded into place.  There was something sinister about the way metal met cement; the fusion of the two presenting a powerful obstacle to the beat he craved.  With a strength rivaling Atlas as he held up the sky, Josh raised his fist and pounded against the metal for all he was worth.

Boom. Boom. Boom. No answer.

Rap. Rap. Rap. Silence.

Silence? Even the beat had faded, suddenly, mysteriously. The steady thump replaced by a deafening lack of noise.  Without a moment’s warning, it was gone, leaving only Josh, confused and defeated, in its wake. He fell to the ground again, this time voluntarily. He felt like he was going crazy, nothing around him made sense, nothing fit.

Why couldn’t he remember himself?  Why was he bloodied and beaten?  Where the hell was he? And why did the beat soothe him so, why did he feel as though its loss had ripped his very heart from his chest and left a gaping, ragged wound?

Before despair could sink its claws into his being, a small crack saved his life. Just a crack, and then wider and wider until all that could be seen was a black hole in the face of the wall.  With a slow, whining creak, the door had opened. In its shadow stood a man, tall and broad and foreboding as all hell; it looked like he’d picked a fight with Freddy Krueger, and Mr. Nightmare on Elm Street had won.

Puckered gashes in a pale shade of pink adorned a face framed by a square jaw and a uni-brow that rivaled a squirrel’s tail. Dark eyes seemed to absorb every detail about Josh in seconds, made this stranger appear to know Josh’s life and story without the need for words.

“They got ya.”  Simple words, growled out in a deep baritone. “When?”

Josh’s blank stare gave him away. He couldn’t place the question, couldn’t place the accent or the drawl.

“Jesus, ya don’t even know. Do ya?”

Again, a blank stare.  Before he could even voice his concerns, Josh found himself being hauled up and dragged into the dark.  He heard the metal slam shut behind him and didn’t protest as he was pulled into what he was sure was the bowels of the earth.

This has to be what death feels like, Josh thought.  Yeah, that’s it…I’m dead. 

“Remember anything?” This from Mr. All-in-Black-and-Scary-as-Hell.

“Nah.” Josh mumbled, his feet dragging along the floor as he was half-carried, half-pulled down a dark, winding hallway.

“Couldn’ta been long since they turned ya loose. Usually only keep ya long enough to knock ya around a bit. Damn fibs.”

“Fibs?”

A sigh of exasperation, followed by, “Federal Internment Bureau Sergeants, idiot.”

“I don’t, I…”

“Ha, knocked ya around good enough. Ya ain’t got no idea what’s going on.”

“Uh, I..”

“Shut up. Ya’re stupid, that’s ya main issue. E’erbody knows ya don’t mess with the feds lest ya got some backup. Coulda got yaself killed.”

Before he could respond, Josh felt the hands propping him up fall away.  He acquainted himself with the hard concrete of the floor. Still, there was only darkness, the world around him as pitch black as night.

And then, a blinding light and the beat.  It was back, the soft and steady thump thump thump; it soothed his wounds, like a balm for his body and his soul.

Josh closed his eyes against the brightness and strained to hear the voices that now accompanied the beat.

“He doesn’t know…”

“…when did they take him?”

“How long…”

“…he tell them anything?”

“…are they looking for him?”

“…how did he find us?”

Questions that had no answers, questions that seemed to never end.  Slowly Josh opened his eyes and found himself face to face with a small band of ragged and dirty misfits. Unbidden, the word resistance sprang to his mind.  It lay on the tip of his tongue, but something held it back.  Instead, he pulled himself into a sitting position and waited.

The beat pulsed all around him, seemed to weave its way through the gathering crowd, find his ears and sync with the thumping of his heart. It felt familiar. It felt like home, but he didn’t know why.

A young blonde girl, her greasy pigtails half covering an angelic face, held an ID card in one hand and his wallet in the other. She looked him straight in the eye: “Hello big brother, welcome back.”

It’s The Little Things

Do you know that feeling, the one when you’ve accomplished something you’ve been meaning to do for a really long time?  You feel so excited and so proud of yourself; and it doesn’t even matter how small the actual accomplishment is, you just feel like you’ve conquered the world.  

That’s how I feel today!  Why, you might ask?

Because, after three long months, I have finally completely organized my Kindle!  Over 1000 books, all put one by one into varying collections…I went from 105 “pages” to just 3, now that everything is organized into collections.

I had been working on it  – half heartedly, I’ll admit – since September, but I decided that this break would be the perfect time to get everything all sorted out.  So over the course of the past two days, I have spent hours searching Amazon for the titles of books I bought and reading their “product pages” so I could figure out which category my books belonged in.  Trust me, it was an arduous process, but absolutely worth it!

Anyways, now that my Kindle is all organized, I’m off to read a wonderful new Gemma Halliday novel I found in the craziness of those 100+ pages =)

xoxo YoshiAnn

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Blessed Kwanza!

Season’s Greetings everyone! May your holiday be filled with family, friends and  love.  I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

So….

Merry Christmas!

Happy Hanukkah!

Blessed Kwanza!

Enjoy the holidays everyone =)

xoxo YoshiAnn

P.S. Images courtesy of:

– Merry Christmas from IBankCoin.

– Happy Hanukkak from One Day and Two Days.

– Kwanza Blessings from Greetings Island.

– Feature image (Happy Holidays) from PlugInFree.

Setting up Bloglovin & Showing Off Some Art

Hey guys, sorry for the seemingly random post.  I’m trying to set up Bloglovin on the site so people who aren’t on WordPress can follow me too =)

If you’d like to follow this blog via Bloglovin, please visit one of the “pages” (About, All Things Crafty, In My Boudoir, Words…So Many Words) and click the link on the right!  This is what it looks like:

bloglovin

xoxo YoshiAnn

P.S.  Do y’all like my drawing?  It’s way old, but I love it because it’s so colorful!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

The Weekend is Over

The weather is changing so quickly here; over the past 24 hours, we’ve gone from 50° to 25°. To pass the time (and avoid the cold), I’ve spent today primarily indoors (and in cars) knitting and working on my thesis. I finished up a sweater I was working on (pics to come, after I’ve blocked it and sewed in all the ends).

At the moment, I’m watching movies and starting a new piece – it’s a pretty scarf.

Here’s the piece I just put on my needles:

I’ve really been enjoying my knitting lately – mostly because last month I got all new bamboo needles.  Honestly, it’s making my favorite past-time that much more enjoyable; working on bamboo feels fantastic and it’s much easier on my hands than they plastic and metal needles I formerly worked with.

What kind of needles do you use?

xoxo YoshiAnn

Keep Walking

This story was something that I really struggled with writing; the idea had been floating around in my mind for years – but I was adamant that I didn’t want to deal with the subject.  It’s a difficult and unpleasant thing to write about, but this character wouldn’t leave me alone.  For a long time, I ignored her (put her in the back of my mind), until I met someone who told me a story about the abuse they endured as a child.  

At that point I realized, that despite my need to live in a world where things like child rape are non-existent – that wasn’t really the case.  There is suffering here, in this world, and ignoring it doesn’t make it go away.  

xoxo YoshiAnn

P.S. Photo courtesy of this site – I couldn’t find an actual source =(

Keep Walking

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements…

Janice took a deep breath and let Adele’s smooth tones, the soft bass and the accompanying tranquility wash over her; she loved music.  It was her refuge, her salvation.  She cast her eyes downward, scanned the cracked, dirty asphalt and kept walking forward, careful to avoid the wads of old, chewed up gum that littered the surface.  She was calm, at peace, walking down a Brooklyn street in the twilight hours with a light breeze ruffling her curls and the world around her moving in slow motion.  She pulled her hair into a lopsided bun, adjusted her earphones and kept on walking.

It was her second summer alone, just a few days before her late August birthday.  This year, she’d be old enough to drive – if things had been normal, if they’d been okay, she bet she’d have gotten her license and a car.  She’d drive to the mall and see her friends, maybe she’d have a curfew, but she wouldn’t care, because that’s what normal families did.

“That’s what they do,” she mumbled, turning down an alleyway filled with dank, stale air.  It was a shortcut; the night was coming down and Janice knew that even in the summer the shelters were packed before dusk.  She moved quickly, silently down the path, towards the light at the other end of the tunnel.  But she wasn’t looking for salvation or even hope; she’d given up on both of those long ago.  Long before she walked the streets, long before a half a can of lima beans at the shelter was something she looked forward to, long before she’d cried to her mother about those terrible nights, long before the last time Roy stumbled into her room after dark and made her wish she wasn’t alive.   Hope was for suckers, and two years on the streets had taught her to be anything but that.

Janice pushed open the doors to the Providence House shelter, slipping her earphones out and tucking them in the dark recesses of her grey hoodie.  Just as she’d suspected, inside people crowded the two-cart buffet; here, the reckless, the dangerous and the pathetic lined up for what may have been their only meal of the day.  She grabbed a tray, joined the line and remembered.

The soft thud of his steps got closer. Janice held her breath.

“Not tonight, please, not tonight,” she whispered, hoping that some God, somewhere would hear her.

The footsteps came closer; they paused at her door, then kept on walking. She choked out a puff of air, a breath held a touch too long – relief. She’d be okay tonight.

She slept.

 

Janice felt the pressure on her chest, her stomach before her eyes opened. He was on top of her, his grubby hands pushing aside her clothes, the alcohol on his breath stinging her nostrils.

Dammit, she thought she’d been safe tonight; he’d walked past her door mere hours before and left her alone. She’d thought she’d been safe.

She didn’t move, make a sound.  It wouldn’t matter if she screamed or she cried, she’d done it all before. It changed nothing. Her mom wouldn’t be home until the sun crested, and ‘til then she was his, nothing in the world would change that.

So she lay still, and stayed quiet, pretended she was dead.  He’d leave when he was done. He always did, just like he always came back, night after night after night.

She heard him grunt, felt the sticky heat of him scalding her skin, felt the bile rise in her throat and promised herself that she wouldn’t be there the next time he came.

“You can get porridge or a little rice? Whaddaya want?”

Janice snapped out of her daydream and stared at the serving lady. Between the wrinkles, the bright red hair and the matching track suit, she merited a second glance.

“I’ll take the porridge please.”  She watched as a spoonful of something lumpy and grey hit her tray at 60 mph.

“Thanks.”

She shuffled to a corner, taking her pick of the establishment’s finest – a few banged up metal chairs and graffiti-covered plastic tables.  She sat, ate in silence and without a backwards glance, made her way to the door.

Outside the night air had picked up a bit, but it was still cool as ever.  Janice let her eyes pass over the moon as she slipped her earphones back in place and started walking.  She didn’t mind the memories so much anymore; she figured it never hurt just to remember. She was doing okay; she had a little spot near Church Street, with a couple of other kids life had fucked over too, she spent her days walking the city and her nights tucked safely away with her crew.

Life was alright, better. She was alright, better – safe.  Janice pressed a button and anyone within five feet of her could hear a soft bass, and Adele’s hypnotic voice:

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere.

Kate Gives Me Agida, But…

…she is one heck of a teacher and friend!

So this is Kate [click her name to visit her blog…do it, do it]!  She’s amazing!

We tutor little middle school munchkins together, and the most incredible thing happened this past Thursday.  Kate tutors English (and I do Math – yeah, I know) and on Thursday her kids were really bummed out about an English test that apparently the entire seventh grade averaged pretty badly on.  We usually work with our kids for an hour (then they go to an activity – like sports or dance or choir) and then we work with another set of students for the second hour – this Thursday however, Kate’s first set of kids begged to skip their activity so that they could keep studying/learning with her!

Their counselors were blown away, hell I was blown away!

We work with an amazing set of kids, and they’re so easy to talk with and get along with – but it’s obvious that Kate is really getting through to them!  I’m super proud of her [dear Kate, you are a goddess of tutoring…and driving, and Haitian revenge plots but that’s a story for another day].

xoxo YoshiAnn

P.S. Feature Photo courtesy of Melanie L.Benfield. [These are not the actual kids we tutor.]

P.P.S. Check out Kate’s much more detailed post about it at Katastrophe!